How to Talk To Your Partner About Your Family Finances

It’s no secret that money is often cited as one of the top reasons people get divorced. In fact, a Ramsey Study found that large amounts of debt and a lack of communication about overall family finances leads to elevated levels of stress and anxiety. If that wasn’t bad enough, the more debt a couple has, the more likely they are to argue about money, too!

But, the study also discovered that couples who discussed their family finances regularly were also twice as likely to report being in a great relationship. These couples openly talked about their financial position and plans for the future which helped them resolve differences and work together to achieve common goals!

All too often, couples don’t talk about money until there’s a problem. Often, a sudden emergency or financial hardship triggers the conversation. With their emotions running high and differing money mindsets; they end up in an argument.

But, it’s possible to avoid this pain and discomfort by regularly talking about your family finances. These conversations get you both on the same page, allowing you to tackle issues and work towards your financial goals together!

How To Start Talking About Your Family Finances

In most relationships, one party tends to be more interested in money than the other. And if you’re reading this article, then it’s you!

More often than not, you want to make changes in your family finances. You think you have too much debt, the budget needs improvement, or you’re not saving enough money. While one or more of these may be true, nothing will get better unless you start the conversation.

Step 1: Set A Family Budget Meeting

If you’re like most families, you’re busy. You run around from one activity or event to the next. All the while making sure dinner gets eaten at a reasonable hour.

Life can be hectic and is the reason you should schedule a money date. Pick a day and time when each of you will be available, focused, and distraction-free.

Before the talk, each of you should fill out a separate pre-meeting questionnaire. This is a list of prompts that will get you thinking about your current and future financial situation.

Some Pre-Meeting Questions include:

Where do you think you stand financially right now?
How much does your family earn, save, and spend each month?
What’s on your personal financial statement?
How do you envision your family 5 years from now?
What steps do you need to take to make this happen?

Step 2: Set A Time Limit

The goal of a budget meeting is to get everyone on the same page. You want a productive discussion, not an exhausting one.

Determine the amount of time the two of you can set aside. Then, write it down and stick to it. Set a timer if you have to!

Having a time constraint will keep each of you focused and involved in the conversation. It makes you realize there’s a limited amount of time to get it done before you’ll need to move on to other responsibilities.

Many couples run out of time during their first few money meetings. They’re covering new topics, learning new things about their partner, and are excited!.

It’s okay if you run out of time. There’s a lot to discuss. It likely means you’re exploring each other’s money mindset and engaging in meaningful conversation.

But, stop the family finances talk when you reach the time limit. You don’t want to burn your spouse out. Agree to continue the chat later or on the next money date.

Step 3: Limit Distractions

For most people, technology is a constant interrupter. Cell phones, computers, and TVs divert our attention away from the things we should be focusing on.

Keep your devices off during your money date. It allows you to concentrate on the conversation, your spouse, and their dreams!

If there are too many distractions at home, then consider going someplace else. Find a quiet coffee shop, park, or library to discuss your family finances where neither of you will get interrupted.

Step 4: Set SMART Financial Goals

Most people want to discuss their family finances when something isn’t working. They’re doing the same thing over and over but nothing gets better.

Setting and pursuing goals starts the process of change. They create a plan for you to follow which leads to a new destination.

One of the prompts in the pre-questionnaire is your 5-year vision. The hopes and dreams that you have for yourself and your family.

Discuss your plans for the future with your spouse in depth. Determine the areas that you have in common and the ones where you differ. Then, reach an agreement on what you want as a couple and the steps you need to take to achieve them.

Consider the best ways to reach them, too. You may want to increase your income, pay off debt, and live like a tightwad!

Topics to discuss:

What big goal are you working towards?
How can you break these up into smaller goals?
What potential obstacles will you face?
How will you overcome them?
How will you reward yourself for achieving this goal?

Step 5: Tracking Your Family Finances

Many people get discouraged on the journey to their goals. They’re working hard yet remain unsure if they’re making progress or just wasting time!

But when you monitor your family finances you’ll see the improvement. It will show you where you started, how far you’ve come, and what you have left!

Keep track of each item in your budget; your income, saving, and spending. See how each is changing over time. As you track them, you’ll become more aware of the way money is flowing in and out of your life.

Review your progress towards each goal in every meeting, too. Determine where you are and what you still need to do. This status check will show that your plan is working and that if you keep going you’ll reach your goals!

Also, update your personal financial statement during your money date. As it changes, you’ll notice the progress you’re making towards creating wealth and reaching financial freedom!

Questions to consider:

What wins have you had since your last meeting?
What are you doing well?
What needs improvement?
Do you notice any patterns developing? (Positive or negative)
What can you do differently?

Step 6: Schedule the Next Money Date

The end of one money meeting should prompt planning the next. Decide when, where, and how often you’ll meet to talk about your family finances.

Most successful couples have a regular money date. They find that meeting on a monthly or quarterly basis helps them to connect, get back on the same page, and make needed changes.

Also, write down the agenda for your next meeting while the discussion is still fresh. This ensures no important points get forgotten and you already have a plan for the next time you talk money.

Decide which areas you’ll work on between now and then, too. Layout the action steps each of you will take to move the family forward. Then get to work on them. Your partner will be asking about your progress at the next money meeting!